Observations from my beach chair...

Yoga Class

Count me out.

I take relaxing to new heights when I'm on the beach.

Not to mention what we overheard a kid say (he was maybe 12):

"They look constipated."

After I quit laughing and choking on my umbrella drink,

I took a closer look and decided he was right...

Speedos

These should be illegal unless you are a competitive swimmer

and are at practice or a meet.  Period.

I cannot drink enough umbrella drinks to make those look good.

Board shorts are sexy - trust me!!  

Thong Fakers

If you do not have the nerve to purchase and wear a real thong bikini,

tuning your regular swimsuit bottom into one is not the way to go.

It's not flattering on the skinniest/firmest behind 

and, frankly just looks uncomfortable.

Quick-Change Bikini

Being an up-tight American, I have never had the nerve to go topless;

however, others doing so has never bothered me.  

As my son (then approximately 15) wisely noted:

"Those that should, don't, and those that shouldn't, do."

This older couple behind me had been swimming and

came back to their seats.  

I had previously taken note of her because I thought she was

pretty fit for her age - guessing 60 - and had an amazing tan

(made obvious when she was sunbathing topless).  

While I laid on my stomach and read, 

she completely changed out of one bikini and into another one.

Huh?!?!  

It took me a while to process that I had actually seen this...

Then I had to process how I felt about it... 

Surprised??  Shocked??  - Duh!  Remember - uptight American.

Offended??  Hmmm...  Not so much. 

I'm more open-minded than I thought :-)

 Except when it comes to speedos and thong fakers...